A Culinary Adventure

One of my friends, Mike Braverman, enjoys cooking. He does life slowly, and I think that's why. I have no patience for cooking, but that's why people have friends. I screw up Mike's dinners and he teaches me that speed doesn't equal quality.

So a few nights ago we decided to make dinner together. Dan joined along, so the three of us trekked to Publix to select food there. Mike had a plan. "A meal has meat, a vegetable, and a starch," he said. Dan thought anything that wasn't steak wasn't real meat, but I convinced him legitimate meals could be made with chicken. I don't love squash, but after living in China, can eat anything I need to and didn't protest that being our vegetable. French bread topped off the meal. We needed to use spaghetti sauce. Dan and I didn't know if we had spaghetti sauce. I forgot to add that this is the first time we've cooked this school year. I make sandwiches, and Dan's used his George Foreman once or twice, but the stove has basically been out of commission. Maybe that's why I feel comfortable playing music from my laptop there when I'm cleaning:


But no more using the stove as a table. I flattened the chicken with a brick, Dan sliced the squash, and Mike set up an elaborate process to make garlic bread.

Looking back, I think I get frustrated when I don't have proper equipment. We realized that Dan and I do not have a spatula. To Mike's great amazement, though, we do have a garlic press (left over from the great fall purge):


And then we didn't have any serrated knives. After trying to slice the bread, I got too aggravated and we ended up ripping off pieces.

The meal tasted okay. The squash was a little soggy, the bread had too strong of a flavor, and the chicken tasted average--no offense to Mike's cooking experience. I expected that since we were doing things ourselves it'd be really cheap, but it wasn't. I have to say, I'm not inspired to cook more now. In fact, now that I've seen the limitations of our utensils, I feel less inclined to spend time doing something I'm not good at. Maybe I could find a girl to give me lessons.

Does anyone want to get me a spatula for Christmas? Then I could make omelets. I already have a dozen eggs in my refrigerator that I haven't touched from the first week of school, so I'm all set there. Then I'll practically be a chef. After all, I do have a garlic press.