Some people say it simply. Andrew Schatz used to have, "I'm a licensed Platinum Member of the Republican Party. I even have a card, my member number is 559629888-S892." One of the best About Me's I've read.
Jessica's is pretty good, too, but a different style. "I love my people. I love. a lot. Im happy and bubbly and kind of really ridiculous.
I'm a ball of energy. I dance in my underwear and love to sing at the top of my lungs. I drive with all the windows down and the radio all the way up. Im a hopeless romantic. I curl up and just read for fun. I take pride in being a professional partier. I eat crackers in bed and dance till I drop. I like being myself, being stupid and honest and real."
Mine has been out of date, however. Check out my old About Me:
I wrote a first draft of this paragraph. I used to dislike eating fish. I have generally poor taste in girls, am often tempted to provoke people because society covers up who we are, am working on not sounding arrogant, do my best thinking in the shower, would analyze your socks off if you'd enjoy it, am an aspiring writer (if i will become one), am unsure how to judge the flexibility of my ambitions, am dazzled by wit, and spend hours a week learning Chinese without knowing why. I love God, enjoy summarizing myself because it is inexhaustible, and am romantic about the idea of being romantic.
I read that and barely recognize myself in it. I was so aggressively difficult. Wanna judge me? Bring it! I challenge you to say I'm doing life the wrong way. I can face me, why can't you? I can confess myself tenderly but honestly. Criticism? I already know it.
Now I look at my About Me and it feels foreign. I guess those things are true of me, but I would never summarize myself like that. Except I did. A year ago I considered my change in how much I like fish to be important, somehow, to who I was. I don't study Chinese any more. I'm still not sure why I did. And what was all that about my taste in girls for? I can't believe I needed to say that.
I know why people include random things. Partially, I think, it's a cultural incline toward post-modernism, which is incredulity toward grand narratives. People don't really think there is a theme to their life. But to the extent that they do, random facts juxtaposed with core values (did you notice how I slipped in the phrase about believing in God?) questions the reader's ability to distinguish important from insignificant. And if you think it's stupid that I like The Office and admirable that I donate 90% of my income to the poor, then you should be wary of weighting the first little and the second a lot. For all you know, watching The Office determines my value as much as donating all I own to the poor. Don't judge me, the About Me says.
Anyway, I had to compose a more up-to-date About Me. Wouldn't want the Internet falling behind in knowing me. But it's difficult to get the right tone. Too pedantic, too narrow, too effervescent, too depressed. My old one at least captured my life pretty well. But in the two or three days I thought about it, this is what I came up with.
I really like About Me-ing because for a writer a definition is a creation, and I am always being made new. I like neologisms (the awkwardly new), kids (the newly awkward), and applesauce in blue Gator Dining bowls. It's tasty. I lived in China for seven months but am still American. I hear I'm more mellow than I was in high school, which makes me nervous. I don't want to be a squash. Recently I've regressed some, I think, like a golf swing gets worse before it gets better. I look forward to heaven because then it's all better. I try. I try.
It's not very good. That's okay, though. People don't friend me for my About Me.
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