Phrasal Verbs are Low-Class

What is a word? Normally, it's easy to tell because we separate them by spaces. There were eleven words in my last sentence. But we also have the idea that if something is a word, you should be able to look up what it means in a dictionary. So what about "to look up"? It's one unit of meaning: here "up" doesn't indicate the direction opposite to down; it is a preposition you add which changes the meaning of the verb. You have to look at the phrase as a whole. "To look up" is a phrasal verb.

Phrasal verbs get pretty tricky in English because they often have multiple meanings. For example, "to hold up" means either "to delay" or "to rob." (Jokes follow easily: "Sorry I didn't call you back until now. David held me up." "I didn't know he had a gun.")

I've compiled a list of all the phrasal verbs I can think of that come from "to put." I lifted two or three from here, but my list is more complete. Check it out:

put
	aside	to save: "Ever since they got married, they put aside half their income every paycheck and now they're millionaires."
	at	to estimate: "I put the painting's value at about six dollars."
	away	to incarcerate: "After he murdered that girl a few years ago, he was put away for life."
		to tidy: "Put away all your toys once James leaves."
	back	to delay: "If the construction guys don't finish today, it'll put us back a whole week."
		to spend: "Filling up my tank put me back over a hundred dollars."
		to return: "When you're done borrowing my computer, could you put it back where it was before?"
	back together	to repair: "Dad's going to be home in five minutes and I don't know how to put the TV back together."
	behind	to forgive: "Even though you ate my last Oreo, I'm willing to put it behind us."
	down	to criticize: "Why do you put me down all the time?"
		to commit: "Put me down for a batch of cookies."
	forward	to suggest: "I put forward the idea that we should market to the elderly, but it didn't go over well."
	in	to submit: "I put in for reinstatement yesterday."
		to expend: "But I've already put in fifty hours of community service!"
	off	to tarry: "I've put off doing the dishes for so long they're starting to grow moldy."
		to be offended: "I was really put off by his comment about my weight."
	on	to deceive: "Front row tickets to Anberlin? Are you putting me on?"
		to blame: "You're the one who said we should try the gallon challenge. If you feel sick, don't put that on me."
		to perform: "Tomorrow I'll be putting on a magic show in my living room."
		to organize: "Madame Fleury is the one putting on the event, so ask her if you can bring guests.
	out	to extinguish: "Put out the fire now!"
		to give sexual favors: "I like going on dates with her because I know she'll put out."
	through	to connect: "Please put me through to the principal."
		to pass: "He was failing, but I put him through to the fifth grade anyway."
		to make suffer: "We're breaking up because I couldn't put her through a long distance relationship."
	together	to assemble: "I put together this report like you asked me to, Sir."
	toward	to contribute: "We each put $75 a week from our jobs toward a nice car."
	up	to score: "In the basketball game last night, Wilkins put up seventeen points."
		to house: "Maybe Jenny could put you up for the night."
		to post: "I put up fliers, but no one's found Fluffy!"
	up to	to convince: "Did your brother put you up to this? I can't imagine you'd steal on your own."
	up with	to endure: "I put up with your shenanigans every day."

That's 32 meanings of "put + preposition." I even left out uses in which the preposition is used as a preposition, like putting clothes on. But notice that these meanings are defined differently than usual: they are exact synonyms. Substitute any phrasal verb with my definition and there's no denotative difference. (The only exception is "to put back" which I glossed as "to spend," but compare "I spent ten dollars on a meal" and "Buying the meal put me back ten dollars.")

Since phrasal verbs have exact synonyms you never need to use them. In contrast, most words have a niche. I use the word "hover" because I don't want to say "to hang fluttering in the air or on the wing" every time I want to talk about a helicopter. But in America culture, where there is similitude, there is ordering. "Big" and "enormous" mean the same thing, but "enormous" is considered a more educated word. Each phrasal verb is exactly equivalent to another verb, but since the phrasal verb is simpler, it is considered casual, informal, and lower-class. Just think about it. Presidential candidates these days try to relate to the average Joe--explicitly--so think of their aides instead. Can you imagine a McCain aide letting out a press release to say Senator McCain was "put up to" selecting Palin as his running mate? Of course not. Phrasal verbs aren't dignified.

I phrase my verbs sometimes to give this blog a conversational tenor, so don't think it's me being picky. I'm just suggesting that parents teach their kids how to use silverware and how not to use phrasal verbs so when they're on a date with the President's daughter they won't be embarrassed.