Football Dominates

I haven't ever tried to write sports commentary, but it's hard to blog and not comment on sports when that's all you do in a day. I mean, I played racquetball early this morning, but that doesn't count because anything you do on a Saturday before noon is bonus activity. I ended up stopping by Andrew's dorm at 2 and he said he had just woken up.

After my morning extra credit awake time, I picked up my Chinese friend Yang from his apartment to introduce him to the aspect of American college culture called "tailgating." First I had to explain what tailgating was as he carefully documented the experience with his camera.

"Those people in purple and yellow are LSU fans," I said, pointing out some already-toasted Louisiana State supporters. "I hope we beat them."

"Me too," Yang said. "Is it okay if I take picture them?"

"You want to take a picture of them? Sure, go ahead."

He leaned out the window like the foreigner I used to be when I was in China and snapped a shot before we drove away. I introduced him to so many Americans when we got to the RUF tailgate that he gave up on any hope of remembering people's names and loosened up a bit talking about himself. We also worked out a system where I would introduce him to someone. When the person said his/her name, I would repeat it in really clear English so he would hear it better. I started doing that after one guy's name was Chuck, which Yang thought sounded identical to the word "truck." (They don't have the "tr" sound in Chinese.)

Yang and I tailgated for a while, and then when he left I stopped by the Cru tailgate and hung out with more people. Then tonight was the game we had been getting all pepped up for.

I can't decide whether I like the Associated Press summary of it or the concise, straight-up version from ESPN. Regardless, UF played an amazing game. This was an important game, since we've already lost once this season and if we had lost again tonight our season would've been over. On the other hand, LSU was ranked #3 so winning would seriously boost our pitiful 11th place. And then we won, and won by enough that Tim Tebow could sit out our last few offensive plays and let the second-string quarterback try to bring the ball in for a touchdown.

Understanding football strategy is a large part of your football experience. People who know things about football can get outraged at a ref far better than we normal fans. For them, when the ref blows the whistle for a penalty, they already know what the ref is going to call and are shouting about how it can't be true because we saw it and because we're UF and UF doesn't deserve penalties because we're awesome.

Sometimes their rhetoric gets a little shaky, but that's why we have a band who drowns them out with honor and distracts everyone until the next play with our cheers.

It's taken me several years of coming to UF games to let my mood be influenced by a football game. Now, though, if we lose I feel like I've lost, and when we won tonight I felt like I deserved to go to sleep because we had just done a great job.

Great job, Will. Now let's get some sleep.

Orthography: Its Killer

How do you read the title to this post? And by "you," I don't mean the vague, "people" you that we use a lot, nor do I mean you the hypothetical reader; I uncomfortably address the person currently absorbing these words, because this post is powerless for an audience that isn't composed of individuals. Okay, now hold that thought while I lay out an introduction.

Each major has its own realm of assurance. Physicists insist that we follow physical laws, economists insist there are rules of incentive, historians disagree with people regularly enough that it's like a rule, and so on. English majors have an obligation to assure the world that spelling conventions are important. It's a loaded statement, I know. "Important!" you exclaim indignantly. "Well, it shouldn't be." But here's the thing: symbols aren't bad. Obviously, letters aren't bad, but I mean symbols generally. The ability to write a sentence according to society's standards of spelling and grammar is currently a symbol of a good education. I could argue that it's an end to itself, but I don't think that's necessary. All that's necessary is to say it's a symbol of it.

And symbols not being bad, seeing spelling as a symbol for a good education isn't bad either. Now, you can argue that there are more accurate, equitable symbols, but that really just hints at most people's problem with valuing spelling: people don't believe that good education exists. Because if good education exists, and it's marked by good grammar and spelling, and you don't have good grammar and spelling (or "don't care"), then you must not be getting a good education. People's first reaction to that thought is to get defensive and think it's an attack on their worth. Just to be clear, I personally value you as much as a person whether you can write flawlessly or, as someone writing to me recently brought into play, whether you honestly confuse "to" and "two."

If you can admit that good education exists (and if it helps you, Teach for America's starting proposition is that there is an education gap) then there must be a symbol for it. Diplomas exist because employers haven't lived college with us: they need the symbol, even if it is distorted.

And when you consider it, spelling and grammar as a symbol for good breeding is a pretty fair deal. You don't need to be rich, or wear the right clothes, or have a proper accent. Grammar and spelling are pretty robust, as statisticians would say. Jessica got me a shirt for my birthday one year that says, "Good grammar costs nothing." I always apologize for wearing it when people ask me. "A friend got it for me and I like the color," I demur. But the message is true: wealth (and lack of it) is not an excuse.

So that's all the theory I can make up for one day. Let's talk application: it's and its. The paragraph was coming, you knew from the beginning of this post. I'll just tell it to you straight:

1) It's a great day today.
2) Tomorrow is its own problem.

There's no excuse for the first one, really. Contractions use apostrophes.
"I'm not very good at orthography." [I am]
"I don't even know what that means." [do not]
"It's spelling." [it is]
"Really? I never would've guessed." [would have]

Please hear me: just because you use an apostrophe doesn't mean something is a contraction, but when you have a contraction, you use an apostrophe. For example, just because I'm a person doesn't make me a student at UF, but if I am a student at UF, I'm also a person.

So you look at your sentence and you ask yourself, "Is there an extra word I'm not saying?" If the answer is yes, it's a contraction and you need an apostrophe. Just to be obnoxious, I'm going to highlight all the contractions in the rest of this post so you know what I'm talking about.

Let's move on to the possessive case. I have some degree of sympathy for you if you get this one confused. For most things, indicating possession requires an apostrophe. "The cat's bowl is dirty." "Will's tone is not condescending." And so on. But pronouns are different. Just look: "His cat is in the freezer." "Our house burned down yesterday." No apostrophes!

It's the same thing with "its." You have to hunt to find a good neuter subject (like groups), but then it's a piece of cake. "Apple remade its laptops." "The History Club is on its own for funding."

Now for the pop quiz. I didn't make it easy, but there's only one question and it's an open-book test. Partial credit probably not given.

In the title of this post, do I mean "Orthography: it is really tough" or "Orthography: how it is dying"? Pass your papers forward with your name in the top right hand corner...

Witnessing a Paper

I decided to write my 8-10 page midterm for my Joyce class on one paragraph of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, a famous book about a boy growing up and figuring out who he is. It's really difficult to write an essay for a class you don't like. This paper has come smoothly but I think that's because I don't think it's a brilliant essay. It's actually a pretty boring paper:

At the end of book one of James Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, young Stephen Dedalus reflects on his encounter with the rector. "He was alone. He was happy and free." Then, "he wished that he could do something kind for [Father Dolan] to show him that he was not proud" (64). Underlying this thought is Stephen's idea that conflict resolution is possible: he succeeded in complaining to the rector; he can succeed in convincing Father Dolan that he isn't really a bad boy. In book two, though, we quickly learn that the respect Stephen thought he received from the rector was only patronizing indulgence. When Stephen participates in a school play, he has a new mentality that happiness, which is still conceived of as being "alone" (85), proceeds from withdrawal. This other extreme is no more satisfying or lasting than the first, but a close reading of Stephen's explanation for isolation reveals a stubbornness for insignificance that, a contrario, is an encouraging statement of empowerment for downtrodden Irishmen.

At least, that's my first paragraph while I only have five pages finish. By the time I reach my conclusion, I might have changed my mind and think Joyce is actually supporting Irish despondency.

If you want to read the rest of the paper, you can:


I think if you click on the picture, you can see a full-size version where you can read all my notes. This is how I write essays. There's no spatial organization, but I do find that I write bigger when there isn't anything on the page, so my final comments before I started a draft are scribbled in between other, less relevant things. You might be able to tell I started this essay in Library West. Where else would I encounter freshmen girls who were desperately cramming for a pre-calc exam? I can do absolute value problems!

Math is a surprising portion of my schedule. Mallory and I take a math class together every semester, but I have to catch up since I was in China in the spring, so I'm in diff-eq and my proofs class. We took our first test in the proofs class, and I was marked down for not being thorough enough proving that anything times zero is zero. I love that class.

But back to my paper. You might be able to tell I'm having trouble focusing. I've channeled some of my non-focus into Facebook messenger, which sucks as a messenger unless you really, really want to procrastinate and don't care if you're talking to your best friend from second grade's cousin because you both happen to be online. But it's okay, because the girl I was talking to is in my class working on her paper, too. So it's practically like I'm writing my essay.

Since my essay is boring and hers is about Spanish, we talked about religion. I got to share with her about what I believe ("witnessing," to use the Christian parlance). I thought it'd be weird if we had a deep conversation online over Joyce. Last night at RUF the preacher was talking about how we shouldn't be afraid to get in conversations with people about God. Then I was pulled over coming out of the parking lot because my headlights weren't on, and the cop asked where I was coming from. "RUF," I began, thinking of the sermon. "It's a Christian ministry..." But the cop left without converting and I left without a ticket.

But for tonight, all people will be witnessing is someone doing a fantastic job finishing up his Joyce paper.